I’ve been married for 26.5 years. (amazing woman, she is…) During those years I have learned a few things, and most of them because of mistakes that I have made. Example?…who needs a GPS when you know where you are going? I would rather get lost when we are driving somewhere than to stop and ask for directions.
Out of the many lessons, I have one that is a simple yet life-changing thought for husbands.
Ready for it?…here it comes…
“I’m sorry, you’re right. Please forgive me.”
Life-changing, huh? Well, at least it was for me. When it comes down to where the shoe leather meets the road, I don’t like this statement. There are two reasons (actually, several…but two I will mention) that I don’t like this:
1. I must admit that I am wrong.
I don’t like to admit that I am wrong or that I have made a mistake. In fact, most of us don’t. I think it must be something in a man’s DNA or something, but we have a difficult time admitting we were wrong.
2. I must ask for forgiveness.
If I must ask someone, especially my wife, to forgive me, then by definition I have said or done something that is either hurtful or stupid. (In my case, usually both…told you she was an amazing woman) It is difficult for us to ask someone for forgiveness. To do so we are admitting our failure and also that we have damaged the relationship, even if it is in just a small way.
So how do I do it? How do I say, “I’m sorry, you’re right. Please forgive me.”? (For one thing, get plenty of practice…I know I have. Just kidding. Well, I wish I was kidding)
Here are three quick things to help you as a husband the next time (and there will be a next time) you must apologize:
1. Be quick to say I am sorry and I was wrong.
Profound, huh? Delaying the truth, or not stating it at all, does not make it go away. We messed up. The quicker we admit that, the better. She knows it anyway…
2. Be sincere and ask her to forgive you.
Don’t apologize in order to earn some points with your wife. It doesn’t work. Trust me on that one. Apologize without expecting anything in return. Just admit the obvious. You have hurt her, and even though you may not deserve it, you are in need of forgiveness.
3. Ask her to help you change in the future.
If you are serious about #3, it will open up communication between you both like you have never experienced. She will help you in a good way.
When I think about it, these three things work well with our relationship with God too! Try them out and see hope rise in your situation.
Well fellas, there they are...Some simple, yet sometimes difficult, ideas to help us in our relationship with our wives. Oh, and by the way…ladies, these ideas are for you also.
I gotta run,